Limiting Beliefs – We All Have Them

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What is a limiting belief? A limiting belief is a belief, that we all have, that shapes our reality in a way that we perceive as negative. All of our beliefs shape our realities in one way or another. Our limiting beliefs do exactly just that. They limit what we are able to experience and limit us to only knowing one of many possibilities. It is the same as having a sports car that wants to go fast but just driving in school zones that limit you to 30km/h. This is what our limiting beliefs do to us.For example, a limiting belief that many people have is that “I am not enough.” This can show up in many different ways for someone that has this belief. It could be that they fail their test even though they stayed up all night to study. It could be that they didn’t get the promotion they wanted or they didn’t get the raise they wanted. Maybe it shows up as they don’t even bother trying because they know they won’t get what they want anyways.

Someone could look at this example and say that all of that is just the way it is, or it wasn’t meant to be or they didn’t want it anyways. I say that everything in our lives is brought to us by us. It is just not always brought to us consciously. A lot of the time it is brought to us subconsciously. Meaning that we are not aware that we are bringing certain situations and people into our lives. We think these are just things that are happening when in fact we are the ones that are creating them.

Our realities are created through every thought we have and every action we take. Our thoughts and our actions come from our belief system. Our belief system is formed at the beginning of our lives. Depending on who you ask, the answer can vary on when exactly our belief system is fully formed. It is safe to say it is formed by the time we are teenagers and it is quite possible that it is much sooner than that.

Our belief system is formed by the environment we are brought up in. Everything that people say to us. Everything we see at school, t.v, home etc. For example, if our teachers keep telling us to be quiet we might form a limiting belief that “what we have to say is not important.” Or if we keep being told that we are dumb or teased by other students we could form a belief that “we are not enough.”

When I was young I formed a belief that “relationships don’t work.” This came about from my parents getting divorced and by other examples I saw around me in my life. I never knew I had this belief as I went about my life but boy did it ever rear its’ ugly head all the time. I rarely ever got into a primary relationship with anyone as I knew it wouldn’t work so why bother. I always kept people at a distance and didn’t allow them to get close to me. I didn’t even really like talking to people and I always thought it was just because I thought most people were dumb and not worth my time. In reality it was because of this underlying belief I had that relationships do not work.

So how do we find out what our limiting beliefs are? The best way to do this is to take some time to sit back and reflect on your life and what your current results are. You can use the phrase “based on results” to help you.

For example, when I realized I had the limiting belief that relationships don’t work was when I sat down and analyzed why I didn’t have people close to me. I said based on results, the result being not having people close to me, then I must have a belief about relationships.

For someone that is always broke or having money issues they could say based on results I must have a belief about money being hard to make, or maybe a belief that there is not enough for everyone, or maybe even a belief that they are not worth it.

Every person and situation is unique. There could be two people that have the same experiences when they are young and they could form two totally different belief systems. Just because you experienced something and believe something it does not mean the next person will feel the same way as you do.

So how do we go about changing our beliefs that don’t serve us?

There are two ways to do this. The first is by having our world blow up in our face and cause that belief to change. In other words, for something to happen on a grand scale that would cause a belief to no longer be accurate.

The other way, which is much simpler and less traumatizing, is by using affirmations. For example, for my “relationships don’t work” belief I use an affirmation that simply says “relationships do work.” Every day I have this pop up on my phone at 2pm as a daily reminder. I also have an affirmation tape that I listen to almost daily that has a couple other affirmations that work with relationships too.

Repetition is the best way to change a belief. It is important to remember that an old limiting belief has been running in the background of our minds for most of our lives and that it is not going to change overnight or because you repeated it 10 times. It is important to be consistent with affirmations. Do them every day. My alarm clock plays my affirmation tape when it goes off in the mornings.

We all have limiting beliefs but that doesn’t mean that we have to keep living with them and being limited by them. We can change them with some consistent effort to make that change last.

For more information on limiting beliefs and how to change your life check out my book “Life Balance” at

– Rodo

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