By Anna Taut

Surrendering Holding

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By Anna Taut
Artwork By Anna Taut













I’m holding some sort of strange dreamland in
my palm
Staring at its beauty created in a bubble
I am on the outside looking in
But I feel like I’m on the inside looking out
No unity
I’m dreaming of love, really strong love, but it is
nowhere in sight
And I feel like I’m on the cusp of some important
About to throw it up
But it is building in my stomach like bile
A knot that is getting bigger and bigger with
each passing day
Restless and almost irritated
I step through the snow
And I know there is a trail of my footprints
behind me
But they are also disappearing as I move forward
Like my past
Is separated
From my future
And I am in the middle
And the middle is not now
In a random space that seems to exist and
I’m about to burst
Everything is amplified
I’m screaming at the top of my lungs
But only yelling
Silent air
The words are attacking my head
Breaking down the door
And I have no idea how to keep it contained
This feeling of being
In between
Christ, it’s like I’m losing my footing
Slipping off the edge of the Earth
But it’s only the icy curb of the road
Then I crash together with the world
And all I hear are the quiet and loud pains
Through my body

I just want love

It echoes on my lips
And I see the words leave my lungs
Like a breath of smoke
It has released

I surrender


By Dini Antonia C.

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